Now That's Funny!: The Scottish View Of Global Warming

40 degrees	Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Scotland sunbathe.
35 degrees	Italian cars won't start. Scots drive with the windows down.
20 degrees	Floridians don coats, gloves, and wool hats. People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.
15 degrees	Californians begin to evacuate the state. People in Scotland go swimming in the sea.
0 degrees	New York slumlords turn the heat on. Scots have a last picnic before it gets cold.
-10 degrees	People in Miami are extinct. People in Scotland lick flagpoles.
-20 degrees	Californians all now live in Mexico. People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.
-80 degrees	Polar bears begin to leave the Artic. Scottish Boy Scouts postpone winter survival exercise until it gets cold enough.
-100 degrees	Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in Scotland put on a hat and scarf.
-173 degrees	Ethyl alcohol freezes. Scots are angered by frozen whisky barrels.
-297 degrees	Microbial life starts to grind to a halt. Highland cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
-460 degrees	ALL atomic motion stops. Someone in Glasgow says, "It's a wee bit nippy today, Billy...eh? "
-500 degrees	Hell freezes over. Scottish people support England in the World Cup